Inside Out

I don’t know if you think about this or not, but life sucks sometimes. I grew up going to a Christian school, and I loved it. However, there was a person that I honestly tried to avoid after school. Basically, the person drove me crazy because you would try to say something real and honest or painful or whatever, and she would turn it around. “The sun always shines again” and “God works all things out for good.” And though that may be true, it didn’t matter what the topic was, she always had the same response. And it used to drive me crazy because even though most things in my young middle school mind weren’t that big of a deal, sometimes they still mattered. They mattered enough to not brush all of them off and to, at least sometimes, let me grieve.

I saw a magnet one day that said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.” And it would be really nice if that was true. But working in medicine I know for sure that it’s not. It’s not small stuff when a mom has to bury her 9 month old son. It’s not small stuff when a 16 year old has cancer for the third time. And it’s not always small stuff when your life is upset by relationship, health, life struggles or other overwhelming changes. And it’s okay to admit that sometimes life is just hard.

That’s why I loved the movie Inside Out. The movie is about a young 10 year old girl whose awesome life is suddenly upset by a move across the country. The story actually focuses on a few characters in her brain that basically run her emotions and the decisions she makes. The main character is Joy, who is, surprise, surprise, always happy and looking for the bright side of things. Well, catastrophe after catastrophe takes place and Joy is struggling, but manages to keep her upbeat personality.

Joy and Sadness accidently get misplaced from central command, and are struggling to get back to home base during the movie. The entire time, Joy is terrified at the problems that Sadness can cause- because she often seems to mess up good memories and just regular life. But one of my favorite scenes is when they encounter an old childhood friend named Bing Bong who loses something very important to him. Joy’s tendency was to just find something else positive to think about, but Sadness sits down with the friend and just lets him be honest and upset. It only takes a few seconds, but instead of burying his feelings or acting like they don’t matter, he is able to deal with them and then move on. Joy is floored when she realizes that sadness actually has a point in our lives.

Honestly, it’s difficult to be friends with some people, especially with people who will not let you be real. Sometimes joy is totally appropriate, and sometimes a well place joke can make things all better, but sometimes you just have to take a minute to wallow in your sorrows and grieve. Covering an overflowing trashcan with a pretty lid does not get rid of the problem. And even more importantly, sometimes you need to let your friends do the same. And it’s scary, because then you are at risk of letting someone in to the recesses of your heart and showing them who you really are.

And when you get real, sometimes you may be hurt. You may be overlooked. You may be ignored. Because at the end of the day, we are all imperfect, and will sometimes make a situation even worse. Whether we are Christian and can quote the entire Bible, or have learned all the social ettiquette rules in the world or are the sweetest, most understanding people ever, even then, we will still sometimes fail. But even if it’s not perfect, if you’ll be honest and you’ll let your friends do the same, you will be loved. If you run away, or put up a smoke screen, or only stay on the outer surface of “always positive,” you will never get to anything lasting. I love in the movie that Bing Bong comes to the conclusion he is better after he admits his sadness and then he is ready to go on. And Joy learns for the first time that life isn’t all about joy. Joy a beautiful thing. But if you’re always happy and always positive and always on the surface, you miss the ability to really connect with people who are hurting, scared, and alone. Because if “the sun always shine again” is all you have to say when things get hard, you miss a chance to build a new “core memory” with a person that will not be destroyed.